I'm sure I would have said that, given enough time and lager...

The Englandism Charter

I'm particularly fond of stipulation

6 The Channel Tunnel will be flooded with warm water and infested with those South American barbed fish that swim up one's urethra.

and do be sure to visit the "Burning National Symbols of Foreign Countries such as Scotland, Pitcairn Island, Wales and Cornwall" page for good fun...