Boilerplate test

from USA today, using Jeff's criteria:

Pope Loosens Restrictions on Latin Mass: Poor Women and Children Hardest Hit

The Coalition Ecclesia Dei, [a tiny band of obsessive compulsive cat-lady nostalgics who are so primitive, they still think digital watches are a pretty nifty idea: check] an advocacy group that supports the Latin Mass, 119 US churches today offer the Tridentine Mass, up from six in 1989, when John Paul II granted bishops the power to authorize Latin Mass celebrations. A few dioceses, such as Washington, offer it at more than one parish and some offer it daily.

But critics see increased use of the Latin Mass ["longer, more formal, celebrated in a language they don't understand"; check] as an unwelcome symbolic throwback to the past that will be meaningless [...and scary, like Stockwell Day- scary...especially when the Vatican secret police start coming to your door and dragging you and your poor children to it kicking and screaming and start forcing your wife to wear a skirt...ick] to the vast majority of believers. The modern Mass, said in local languages, is more accessible to the faithful and reflects post-Vatican II ecumenical teachings.

...Cardinal Jean-Pierre Ricard, the head of the French Episcopal Conference, warned in the newspaper Le Monde that pressure on priests to offer the Latin Mass, "will seem like a standard aimed at testing the priests' loyalty to the pope." [oh no! not that! Sacre Bleu! Escargot! Mon Ami! What will we do zen? We 'ave to giiv up our catamites nex! Eet eez ze end of ze shurch as we know eet!]

But liturgical books with original Latin prayers rather than Latin translations of the modern Mass may be impossible to quickly locate [except to anyone with access to EBay]. The director of the Vatican publishing house told Catholic News Service he doesn't even know who holds the copyright to the text.

Gibson says initial offerings of the Mass could look like a Catholic amateur hour.

Yep, with the MP out and Benedict showing no signs of dropping dead, the party's over. It's BYOB from now on. (Bring your own bongos).